In ancient China, a merchant needed to travel to a neighboring village to complete a business transaction. However, his route took him through a mountain pass known to be infested with bandits lying in wait for their next victims. The merchant decided hiring a bodyguard was a worthy investment and fortunately, many kung fu practitioners lived in the area. However, the merchant only had enough money to hire one. At length, he was faced with three prospects, all renowned warriors and known to be absolute masters of the art.
As the interview began, the first prospect puffed his chest and boasted, “I am your man! For I can defeat any enemy in 60 seconds or less.”
The merchant was surprised by this claim but before he could react, the second stepped up.
“That’s impressive, but I am your man,” he said, “For I can defeat any enemy in 30 seconds or less.”
Again, the merchant’s eyebrows raised in amazement and he proceeded to the third and asked,
“How about you? How quickly can you defeat an enemy?”
The third thought for a moment then replied, “I’m afraid I cannot say. I have yet to be in a fight. For I have no enemies.”
The job went to the third prospect.
In my martial art studies, I am often asked what the best way is to stop an incoming attack. Rather than a fancy block of the arm, or even a deceptive counter strike, my response is to simply move your body out of the way. It requires far less energy, almost no skill, and greatly minimizes risk. The same principle can be stretched even further: the best way to avoid a fight (and therefore win them) is to not let them exist in the first place. This is the sign of true mastery.
Some of the best martial artists I’ve ever met have never stepped foot inside of a training studio. My own mother, or my children, or even a faithful dog are good examples. Why? Because they have a natural ability to forgive and forget; to see the good in people before the shortcomings. And to accept people for who they are with ease.
As adults, we tend to be wary of strangers. It’s smart to choose wisely whom we spend our time with, but what if we could all adopt a habit of proactively being kind to others – especially our supposed “enemies”? Reaching out preemptively to make new connections with people you would normally avoid with gestures of kindness and respect will lay a foundation of peace before any conflict can arise. You have created a barrier of defense around yourself. You have won the battle before it started. It’s difficult for a potential enemy to hate you when they know you think the world of them.
Pay for the person behind you in the check-out line. Give a compliment to the stranger waiting with you at the bus stop. Praise a pesky co-worker in front of others. You will quickly find that you have no enemies and that you belong anywhere you go. Your life will be more free of conflict and you will have a greater measure of peace and safety. This is the heart of all martial arts.